Arctic Zero Cookie Dough Chip

Before I stopped eating dairy, one of my favorite ice cream flavors was Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Heavenly chunks of actual cookie dough embedded in smooth, rich vanilla ice cream. No one makes it better than Ben & Jerry’s. As a friend of mine once said, “Those two do good work.” My dream is to find a dairy-free chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream as good as theirs.

That’s why, when my husband was scoping out the freezer section at Ralphs, he knew I would be excited to try Arctic Zero Cookie Dough Chip. I had my doubts when he read the ingredients to me over the phone, because the first two were “purified water” and “whey protein concentrate (milk).” Technically, this means it’s not dairy-free although it has no lactose. And quite frankly, “whey” does not sound very appetizing.

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I was also suspicious because this Arctic Zero dessert claims to contain only 75 calories per serving. No dessert that low in calories tastes good, unless you consider celery a dessert.

But I decided to try it anyway.

The first problem is that despite the name “Cookie Dough Chip,” there’s no cookie dough in it whatsoever. There are chocolate chips, but no dough! That’s false advertising!

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Do you see any dough in there? I don’t.

The second problem is that the chocolate chips are terrible. They’re waxy and not very chocolatey. It’s like chewing on bits of brown crayon.

The third problem is that the ice cream has no creaminess or vanilla flavor. It tastes like gritty snow that you scooped up from the sidewalk — but not as natural. Here’s the lesson I learned: Stick with coconut-milk-based ice creams. They really are the best.

Arctic Zero scores a big fat (albeit low-calorie) zero.

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